your parents love me but you hate me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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