Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
