you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
