At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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