you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
