youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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