a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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