if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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