if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
