That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
