I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize