capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
