You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize