well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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