Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
this hospital has no fireball
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
