Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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