is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
