We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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