rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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