i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
