I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
