Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize