Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
