Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
