sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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