My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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