I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize