Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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