it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize