Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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