dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
