I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
