Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
