fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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