soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
