haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
