i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
