whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
