he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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