you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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