dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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