Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
