he puts the penis in happiness.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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