I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
