I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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