She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I will pee on everything he values.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
