yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
