nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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