i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
