All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
