We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
