so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
