I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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