I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
