The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
