the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
pray to the hookup gods
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
