Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize