I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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