Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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