Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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