i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Drunk is not a location!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
