So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
