They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
