Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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