I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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