im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The best revenge is premature balding
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I need water and some morals
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
