i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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