but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
